the one where she turned thirty one

Bittersweet.

Normally birthdays are a happy happenstance for me, at least for the first thirty of my life here on earth. So much has changed this 2017 that I didn’t expect my birthday weekend to be anything but hectic. There is that sense of being lost, not only because I am essentially venturing further into my thirties but being at lost about life in general.

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Urban Light. Art Installation at LACMA

Saturday was a team building event for work, and it turned out to be just myself and my boss. It was part a murder mystery and a scavenger hunt across LACMA and honestly it was quite exhilarating. Made me wish I was more knowledgeable about modern art because we would at least scored better. Looking forward to going back to LACMA and exploring more of the galleries at the Ahmanson building better… the hunt itself had a time limit so we didn’t have time to digest the multitude of gorgeous artwork.

There was also an al fresco pre birthday feast at my sister’s bestfriend’s house that lasted way into the night. Exhausted, we ended up getting home almost past midnight.

Sunday was an early trek over to downtown LA to sample the food at SmorgasborgLA. A food lover event held weekly at the old American Apparel factory warehouse… this was endless delicious goodness. Aside from being such an industrial aesthetic, there were so much food to gorge on including rainbow mandu, masubi, baby back ribs, lobster, egg waffle ice cream and more.

We ended up roaming around Little Tokyo which was crowded as one would expect on a Sunday afternoon. I believe the last time I was ever at that area was almost ten years ago… and that afternoon left me astounded at the changes — the neighborhood noticeably gentrified and much more hipster.

Ridiculously thankful to my family who probably noticed how melancholy I was leading to my birthday. There was a reason for all the sadness. It was my first birthday since Mama passed away last January… and it was her who always seemed to manage greet me first on the morning of the twenty third. Somehow celebrating birthday like that seems hollow… bittersweet.

Most days, its easy to say that you are alright. But in all candor, grief is an endless struggle.

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